R.I.P.

O Novo Shangri-la

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Dia de medicina no trabalho

Há 3 anos, os médicos disseram que todos na fábrica tinham uma infecção urinária.

Há 2 anos, um médico extremamente obeso, a tossir e a tresandar a tabaco, comentou que eu devia ter cuidado com o facto de ser vegetariano.

Há um ano foi uma equipa de médicas russas.

Vou para o gabinete agora, já volto.

Playstation! (original)

Playstation!

Super Tuning

Esta preciosidade foi vista hoje no Fundão, no parque de estacionamento do Hotel Alambique (3 estrelas). As fotografias não lhe fazem justiça, infelizmente, já que o carro brilhava como se de lantejoulas estivesse coberto. É um Audi TT e, à frente, tinha uma legenda a dizer T Tina. A bagageira decorada com um padrão de brocados é bestial, de grande efeito. Tuning no seu melhor.

O meu album do Festival de Verão

Festival de Verão 2007

Europa - Lars Von Trier

"You have been making love.
You have enjoyed the tenderness of your wife,
but now she is asleep and you are alone.

For the first time in you life you experience
the fear of being on a train
with no possibility of getting off,
and no idea of where the journey may end.

You are in a train in Germany.
Now the train is sinking.
You will drown.
On the count of ten you will be dead....
One...
Two...
Three...
Four...
Five...
Six...
Seven...
Eight...
Nine...
Ten.

In the morning, the sleeper has found rest on the bottom of the river.
The force of the stream has opened the door and is leading you on.

Above your body, people are still alive.
Follow the river as days go by.
Head for the ocean that mirrors the sky.

You want to wake up to free yourself of the image of Europa.
But it is not possible."

"Europa" - Lars Von Trier

Torre do Relógio

Retratos de um Castelo

Pequeno Retrato dos Gostos Musicais dos Almeidas

Não me entendo com isto!

Interlúdio Musical II

«Satie's Gymnopédies are gentle yet somewhat irregular pieces of music which deliberately flouted many common practices in classical and even contemporary music. Its cheekiness in avoiding musical conventions however is barely noticeable since the music is strongly guided by its poignant emotional load, and the listener comes away remembering them for their narrative beauty and elegance, rather than their unconventionality.

The pieces are written in 3/4 time and in a similar structure with a similar theme. The Gymnopédies are ethereal, atmospheric pieces regarded as precursors to modern ambient music; in fact, Brian Eno, the pioneering figure of ambient music, has cited Satie as a prime influence. Satie himself used the term "furniture music" to refer to some of his pieces, implying that they could be used as mood-setting background music. However, Satie himself only started to use the term furniture music for some of his 20th century compositions: Satie would never designate the Gymnopédies as furniture music. From the second half of the 20th century on, the Gymnopédies were often erroneously described as part of Satie's body of furniture music, probably due to John Cage's interpretation of Satie's music^[1].»

Interlúdio Musical

*

«Bedřich [Smetana], devido à tensão nervosa e à sífilis, começou a ficar surdo em Março de 1874, aos 50 anos, aquando da estreia da sua ópera «As Duas Viúvas». Alguns meses depois, a 20 de Outubro de 1874, ficou afectado por surdez total. Ainda viveu 10 anos na mais completa surdez, compondo ainda muita música, tal como o poema sinfónico «Minha Pátria» («Má Vlast»), com a parte musical mundialmente conhecida «O Moldava*» («Vitava»), em sol maior, de 1874, evocando o rio Moldava ou Vltava – afluente do rio Elba – , bem como as óperas «O Beijo» (1876), «O Segredo» (1878) e «A Parede do Diabo» (1882).»
.

eBay: Lote de 3 Bananas bem Amadurecidas com caixa de plástico (GRÁTIS!!!11)

price:

US $1.99

Current bid:

US $141.50

View larger picture

---

End time:

Jul-15-07 13:26:02 PDT (2 days 23 hours)

Shipping costs:

US $2.96 CTT - Correios de Portugal® Service to Portugal (more services)

Ships to:

Worldwide

Item location:

Conishead Priory, Ulverston, Cumbria, England

History:

7 bids

High bidder:

Jean Paul Sartre(647)

---

Descrição do produto:

Lote de 3 bananas amarelas às pintinhas, deliciosamente amadurecidas à sombra de antigos carvalhos ingleses e ao som de mantras budistas.

Respeitar as opções dos outros

Um sujeito estava a colocar flores no túmulo de um parente, quando vê um chinês a colocar um prato de arroz na lápide ao lado. Ele vira-se para o chinês e pergunta:

- Desculpe, mas o senhor acha mesmo que o seu defunto virá comer o arroz?

E o chinês responde:

- Sim, e geralmente à mesma hora que o seu vem cheirar as flores.

Uma Testemunha de Gundas

Dei com isto há instantes...

It’s OK to be Gay

A Igreja do Monstro Voador de Esparguete

Em versão Lego

Amanhecer

[brian wakes up naked next to judith, he gets up, walks to the window, and opens the shutter, exposing himself to all]
FOLLOWERS
Look! There he is! The Chosen One has woken!
[slams shutter closed] Brian sees crowd
[bam bam bam bam]
MANDY
Brian!
[bam bam bam bam bam]
BRIAN
Huuh. Hooh. Ooh! Mother. Ooh. Ha--
MANDY
Brian!
BRIAN
Hang on, mother! Shhh.
[clllunk]
Hello, mother.
MANDY
Don't you 'hello mother' me. What are all those people doing out there?!
BRIAN
Oh. Well-- well, I, uh--
MANDY
Come on! What have you been up to, my lad?!
BRIAN
Well, uh, I think they must have popped by for something.
MANDY
'Popped by'?! 'Swarmed by', more like! There's a multitude out there!
BRIAN
Mm, they-- they started following me yesterday.












MANDY
Well, they can stop following you right now.
[opens shutter and addresses followers]
Now, stop following my son! You ought to be ashamed of yourselves.
FOLLOWERS
The Messiah! The Messiah! Show us the Messiah!
MANDY
The who?
FOLLOWERS
The Messiah! Crowd
MANDY
Huh, there's no Messiah in here. There's a mess, all right, but no Messiah. Now, go away!
FOLLOWERS
Brian! Brian!
MANDY
Right, my lad. What have you been up to?
BRIAN
Nothing, Mum. Um--
MANDY
Come on. Out with it.
BRIAN
Well, they think I'm the Messiah, Mum.
[smack]
MANDY
Now, what have you been telling them?
BRIAN
Nothing! I only--
MANDY
You're only making it worse for yourself.
BRIAN
Look! I can explain! I--
[smack]
JUDITH
[entering naked] No! Let me explain, Mrs. Cohen!
MANDY
Who-- Judith
JUDITH
Your son is a born leader. Those people out there are following him because they believe in him, Mrs. Cohen. They believe he can give them hope-- hope of a new life, a new world, a better future!
MANDY
Who's that?!
BRIAN
Oh! That's... Judith, Mum. Judith. Mother. Hmm.
[smack]
Aaaah!
FOLLOWERS
The Messiah! The Messiah!
MANDY
Ooooh.












FOLLOWERS
Show us the Messiah! The Messiah! The Messiah! Show us the Messiah!
MANDY
Now, you listen here! He's not the Messiah. He's a very naughty boy! Now, go away!
FOLLOWERS
Who are you?!
MANDY
I'm his mother. That's who.
FOLLOWERS
Behold His mother! Behold His mother! Hail to thee, mother of Brian! Blessed art thou, Hosanna! All praise to thee, now and always!
MANDY
Ohhh, now, don't think you can get around me like that. He's not coming out, and that's my final word. Now, shove off!
FOLLOWERS
No!
MANDY
Did you hear what I said?
FOLLOWERS
Yes!
MANDY
Oh, I see. It-- it's like that, is it?
FOLLOWERS
Yes!
MANDY
Ohh. Oh, all right, then. You can see him for one minute, but not one second more. Do you understand?
FOLLOWERS
Yes.
MANDY
Promise?
FOLLOWERS
Well, all right.
MANDY
All right. Here he is, then. Come on, Brian. Come and talk to them.
BRIAN
But, Mum. Judith.
MANDY
Now, leave that Welsh tart alone.
BRIAN
But I don't really want to, Mum.
FOLLOWERS
Brian! Brian! Brian!...
BRIAN
Good morning.
FOLLOWERS
A blessing! A blessing! A blessing!...
BRIAN
No. No, please! Please! Please listen. I've got one or two things to say.
FOLLOWERS
Tell us. Tell us both of them.
BRIAN
Look. You've got it all wrong. You don't need to follow me. You don't need to follow anybody! You've got to think for yourselves. You're all individuals!
FOLLOWERS
Yes, we're all individuals!
BRIAN
You're all different! Brian addresses the Crowd
FOLLOWERS
Yes, we are all different!
DENNIS
I'm not.
ARTHUR
Shhhh.
FOLLOWERS
Shh. Shhhh. Shhh.












BRIAN
You've all got to work it out for yourselves!
FOLLOWERS
Yes! We've got to work it out for ourselves!
BRIAN
Exactly!
FOLLOWERS
Tell us more!
BRIAN
No! That's the point! Don't let anyone tell you what to do! Otherwise-- Ow! No!
MANDY
Come on, Brian. That's enough. That's enough.
FOLLOWERS
Oooooh. That wasn't a minute!
MANDY
Oh, yes, it was.
FOLLOWERS
Oh, no, it wasn't!
MANDY
Now, stop that, and go away!
YOUTH
Excuse me. Mandy Addresses the Crowd
MANDY
Yes?
YOUTH
Are you a virgin?
MANDY
I beg your pardon!
YOUTH
Well, if it's not a personal question, are you a virgin?
MANDY
'If it's not a personal question'? How much more personal can you get? Now, piss off!
[slams shutter]
YOUTH
She is.
FOLLOWERS
Yeah. Must be. She is. Definitely...
[a few minutes later brian leaves through the front door]
CROWD
Ooh. Oh! Oooh...
REG
'Morning, Saviour.
CROWD
[yelling]
WOMAN
Lay Your hands on me. Quick!
FRANCIS
Now, don't jostle the Chosen One, please.
BABY
[crying]
REG
Don't push that baby in the Saviour's face. You've got till later.
GREGORY
I say. I say, could He just see my wife? She has a headache.
REG
She'll have to wait, I'm afraid.
GREGORY
It's very bad, and we've got a luncheon appointment.
REG
Look, the lepers are queuing.
REGORY
Her brother-in-law is the ex-mayor of Gath, you know.
REG
Uh, Brian, can I introduce the gentleman who's letting us have the Mounts on Sunday?
MR. PAPADOPOULOS
Hello.
FRANCIS
Don't push!
REG
And keep the noise down, please! Those possessed by devils, try and keep them under control a bit, can't you? Incurables, you'll just have to wait for a few minutes. Um, women taken in sin, line up against that wall, will you?












JUDITH
Brian? Brian, you were fantastic!
BRIAN
You weren't so bad yourself.
JUDITH
No, what you said just now-- it was quite extraordinary.
BRIAN
What? Oh, that. Was it?
JUDITH
We don't need any leaders. You're so right. Reg has been dominating us for too long.
BRIAN
Well, yes. Judith and Brian
JUDITH
It needed saying, and you said it, Brian.
BRIAN
You're... very attractive.
JUDITH
It's our revolution! We can all do it together!
BRIAN
I think-- I think--
JUDITH
We're all behind you, Brian. The revolution is in your hands!
BRIAN
What? No! That's not what I meant at all!
CENTURION
You're fuckin' nicked, me old beauty. Right.
[whap whap whap whap whap]
[smack]
Stop it.


in Life of Brian, Monty Python

Eu não sou o messias!

BRIAN
I'm not the Messiah!
ARTHUR
I say You are, Lord, and I should know. I've followed a few.
FOLLOWERS
Hail Messiah!
BRIAN
I'm not the Messiah! Will you please listen? I am not the Messiah, do you understand?! Honestly!
GIRL
Only the true Messiah denies His divinity.
BRIAN
What?! Well, what sort of chance does that give me? All right! I am the Messiah!
FOLLOWERS
He is! He is the Messiah!
BRIAN
Now, fuck off!
[stunned silence]
ARTHUR
How shall we fuck off, O Lord?
BRIAN
Oh, just go away! Leave me alone.
SIMON
You told these people to eat my juniper berries. You break my bloody foot. You break my vow of silence, and then you try and clean up on my juniper bushes!
BRIAN
Oh, lay off!
ARTHUR
This is the Messiah, the Chosen One!
SIMON
No, he's not.
BRIAN
Aaaagh!
ARTHUR
An unbeliever!
FOLLOWERS
An unbeliever!
ARTHUR
Persecute! Kill the heretic!
[they pick up simon and carry him away]
FOLLOWERS
Kill the heretic! Kill him! Persecute! Kill!...
BRIAN
Leave him alone! Leave him alone! Leave him alone. Put him down. Please!
JUDITH
Brian?
BRIAN
Judith?

in Life of Brian, Monty Python

O Lixo Ressuscitado

Tal qual um Lázaro da cena blóguica, o lixo voltou à vida. O obreiro do milagre foi o messias Gaspar.

O nosso servidor

No momento em que estamos a melhorar o blog para que se torne num serviço de qualidade, aproveito para vos mostrar uma imagem do nosso mais recente servidor do Lixo!